It sux, it’s hard, and it’s long. I’m not patient.

it is not just a one and done deal process.  you need to be ready for the fight and your head and mind and soul needs to be put into it.

That it is a life long project that is truly so much fun and I get to have a life so far beyond what so many people settle for!

That the world doesn’t end if I don’t purge after I binge or overeat.

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I never thought it was possible to be healthy and not live a life in and out of psychiatric hospitals all the time. I also didn’t think full recovery from an eating disorder was possible but I have learned that it definitely is. Also, I opened my eyes to the falsehoods and propaganda that the media spews out to people about what is attractive and what it means to be thin. I never thought I could give up dieting and be happy in my own skin. These have all been marvelous revelations.

How long the refeeding process is, how easy it is to relapse, how much patience is required – to remember that time is a major key to recovery.

How good I am able to feel. How “normal”I feel, like how I used to feel. i have my life back. It’s not easy and I seem to have to work on it everyday, I mean not conciously but small things I have to remind myself of, like “yes, I need to eat and make sure that I eat enough within the day in order to prevent a relapse.

Oh that it’s possible.  For me.  Really didn’t think I could ever feel like this, so normal.

Really didn’t think my brain would ever shut off that CONSTANT noise of “too fat”, “can’t eat”, “gotta lose weight”, “look how thin she is”, etc, etc, etc.

But hands down, the most surprising thing is that this last chance at recovery came along, and it was successful, FINALLY! It wasn’t an Eating Disorder program.  It was a Trauma program. Better medication for sure. And if I need to go in-patient again, it will be there. Some serious treatment.

That my body is not the problem. My body is not the enemy. That I am not alone.